I’m so excited to be publishing this post, you have no idea!!! I can finally let the cat out of the bag….
That’s right! It took 2 years…but I’m pregnant…again! (11-ish weeks in the pic, but I am 13 weeks now)
There is a long story behind this….
You might remember, 2 days before the end of the year, I did a post , “A Reflection of 2011“. My #1 goal that I hadn’t accomplished in 2011 was getting pregnant. But low and behold, 2 days later, on January 1st, 2012, I got the ++ test. How’s that for starting 2012?!
I haven’t gotten into great detail about the issues we’ve had with fertility. I first mentioned we were having problems in that reflection post, then again in my post about competing. In real life, I’m quite forthcoming about the problems we’ve had, but I didn’t share very much on the blog. I’m not sure why, as when I share the “tough” posts, people really seem to relate to them, so I’m going to do a much better job of just saying what’s on my mind.
No joke, I have a draft in WordPress titled, “Our Personal Struggle”, which detailed the whole process we have gone through the last 2 years not being able to conceive again. Just as I was going to publish that post, I got a positive pregnancy test. Irony yet again. But I’ll still give you a run down of what’s been going on the past 2 years up to this point.
What the last 2 years have been like….
If you’ve ever read my story, or have been following along the site for a while, you’ll know that we have 3 year old daughter, whom we love to pieces.
So naturally, enjoying parenthood so much, we wanted to have another child. Piece of cake, we thought. It took literally 2 weeks for me to get pregnant before. But little did we know, the second time around it would take 2 years+.
That we don’t know, exactly. Numerous trips to doctors, naturopaths, fertility specialists. Ultrasounds, blood tests and everything else under the sun. Everything “appeared” normal, for both of us. The doctors call it “unexplained fertility”, basically meaning they have no idea why it wasn’t happening. It would be a lie to say I never got pregnant in those 2 years. I did have had one miscarriage at 9 weeks in September 2011. It was heartbreaking, and my heart goes out to anyone that’s experienced one. Definitely the hardest thing I’ve gone through since losing my mom. That’s another reason why I’ve waited to announce, I really wanted to get past the first trimester safe zone.
Anyone that has tried to have a baby knows that each month you don’t get pregnant, its heartbreaking. There is always a certain amount of hope, and sadly, each month it doesn’t happen, that hope is crushed.
I don’t know whether it was some sort of life lesson on patience, but it had been an exhausting and emotional process, especially on me, as I was blaming myself. I would say I’m a positive person in every aspect of my life, but it was really breaking me down, and there were days, I would get very upset about it. Frustration, anger, hopelessness, I’ve felt it all.
Like I said, I have no idea what it really was, but the following are reasons are at the forefront of my mind…
I led onto this in my recent post. I did 3 fitness competitions, all within the 2009 year. One at 7 months (post-baby), another 2 weeks after, and the third in September 2009. My cycle was gone (yes, completely gone), for the entire year of 2009. Had I known this would be the result, I wouldn’t have done it.
Thankfully, my body went back to regular cycles. But it still took well over a year and a half to get pregnant.
If you do compete, or are planning on it, just be careful. Even if you’re not planning on kids, or are finished having them, having healthy hormones are important for so many more reasons, like proper thyroid function, for example. A lot of people also experience digestive issues afterwards (intolerance to gluten, dairy, etc)
I know it wasn’t a smart idea to do 3 shows so close together. Maybe if I just did one, I may have been fine within a couple months after, but who knows.
I did find the best way to get my health on track was seeing Naturopaths. I took various supplements, tried acupuncture, and starting feeling better overall.
Balancing working full time, with a child was a lot different I thought it would be. I always imagined myself being a career mom, and having no problem working outside the home when having children. WRONG! I’ve struggled with that since having to go back to work after my 1 year maternity leave (I know, we are lucky in Canada getting 1 year).
Somehow, I managed to workout (early in the morning), get work done, rush home, have dinner on the table, and still find time to blog. The only saving grace was that I was in a semi-flexible position being a sales rep. I wasn’t necessarily outside the home from 8am-5pm everyday.
The routine changed this past October 2011. I’ve gone down to part-time, with the same vitamin company I’ve been with for 6 years, and am doing their social media, and working from home. It couldn’t be more perfect. Less stress, don’t have to worry about childcare, I’m still with an amazing company, and I have more time. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason and we’re never given anything we can’t handle. Perhaps Sienna needed more time with just the three of us? Or maybe it was a lesson to me that things can’t always happen exactly when you want them to. Regardless, I’m just so happy it happened for us, and all we hope for is a happy and healthy baby!
What finally did it?
There was only one thing I did different, and I’m not sure if that’s what did it or not, but about 1 month before I became pregnant, I started a new supplement called Vitex. This is the brand I took. I’m not sure why I hadn’t taken it sooner, as I’m aware of it, and how its used for fertility. My conscience was telling me that I needed to take it. So I did. Weeks later, I became pregnant. Personally, I think it helped. I feel that something was slightly off, and perhaps taking Vitex was the missing piece.
The timing couldn’t have been better, as we were weeks away from going back to the fertility doctor to see about doing the first step in fertility treatments. But thankfully, it happened naturally.
The due date: September 7th. How’s this for irony, September 7th is the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death. In a twist of fate, I think its her way of reminding us about the circle of life. Wherever there is death, there is also life. When things seem hopeless, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. ts usually such a sad day, but she would be telling me right now that everyday should be filled with joy, and the “date” shouldn’t matter. She couldn’t be more right. She would never want me to waste a day being upset or sad.
So Much More To Tell!
So, as a warning, most of my Friday posts, which are a mix between “5 Favorite” and “Family” type posts, most of the Family posts you’ll see updates on how the pregnancy is going, and progress pics. I already have so much more to tell you all! Its been so hard keeping it a secret for this long. The food aversions, all-day morning sickness, how my workouts have gone to crap, finding out the sex of the baby, and the joys of a growing belly!
I hope you enjoy following along our journey! Thanks for being here thus far. Hope you come along for the ride!