FINALLY

by Kristine on March 2, 2012

in Blog, Family

I’m so excited to be publishing this post, you have no idea!!!  I can finally let the cat out of the bag….

That’s right!  It took 2 years…but I’m pregnant…again! (11-ish weeks in the pic, but I am 13 weeks now)

(excuse the wet hair out of the shower, but I'm prepping you for more unglamorous pregnancy pics)

So long abs! I'm not sad for you to leave considering I'm pregnant!! (but I'll be happy to have you back!)

There is a long story behind this…. 

You might remember, 2 days before the end of the year, I did a post , “A Reflection of 2011“.  My #1 goal that I hadn’t accomplished in 2011 was getting pregnant.  But low and behold, 2 days later, on January 1st, 2012, I got the ++ test.  How’s that for starting 2012?!

I haven’t gotten into great detail about the issues we’ve had with fertility.  I first mentioned we were having problems in that reflection post, then again in my post about competing.  In real life, I’m quite forthcoming about the problems we’ve had, but I didn’t share very much on the blog. I’m not sure why, as when I share the “tough” posts, people really seem to relate to them, so I’m going to do a much better job of just saying what’s on my mind.

No joke, I have a draft in WordPress titled, “Our Personal Struggle”, which detailed the whole process we have gone through the last 2 years not being able to conceive again.  Just as I was going to publish that post, I got a positive pregnancy test.  Irony yet again.  But I’ll still give you a run down of what’s been going on the past 2 years up to this point.

What the last 2 years have been like….

If you’ve ever read my story, or have been following along the site for a while, you’ll know that we have 3 year old daughter, whom we love to pieces.

So naturally, enjoying parenthood so much, we wanted to have another child.  Piece of cake, we thought.  It took literally 2 weeks for me to get pregnant before.  But little did we know, the second time around it would take 2 years+.

Why? 

That we don’t know, exactly.  Numerous trips to doctors, naturopaths, fertility specialists.  Ultrasounds, blood tests and everything else under the sun.  Everything “appeared” normal, for both of us.  The doctors call it “unexplained fertility”, basically meaning they have no idea why it wasn’t happening.  It would be a lie to say I never got pregnant in those 2 years.  I did have had one miscarriage at 9 weeks in September 2011.  It was heartbreaking, and my heart goes out to anyone that’s experienced one.  Definitely the hardest thing I’ve gone through since losing my mom.  That’s another reason why I’ve waited to announce, I really wanted to get past the first trimester safe zone.

The Emotion

Anyone that has tried to have a baby knows that each month you don’t get pregnant, its heartbreaking.  There is always a certain amount of hope, and sadly, each month it doesn’t happen, that hope is crushed.

I don’t know whether it was some sort of life lesson on patience, but it had been an exhausting and emotional process, especially on me, as I was blaming myself.  I would say I’m a positive person in every aspect of my life, but it was really breaking me down, and there were days, I would get very upset about it. Frustration, anger, hopelessness, I’ve felt it all.

My Suspicions:

Like I said, I have no idea what it really was, but the following are reasons are at the forefront of my mind…

1. Competing

I led onto this in my recent post.  I did 3 fitness competitions, all within the 2009 year.  One at 7 months (post-baby), another 2 weeks after, and the third in September 2009. My cycle was gone (yes, completely gone), for the entire year of 2009.  Had I known this would be the result, I wouldn’t have done it.

Thankfully, my body went back to regular cycles.  But it still took well over a year and a half to get pregnant.

If you do compete, or are planning on it, just be careful.  Even if you’re not planning on kids, or are finished having them, having healthy hormones are important for so many more reasons, like proper thyroid function, for example.  A lot of people also experience digestive issues afterwards (intolerance to gluten, dairy, etc)

I know it wasn’t a smart idea to do 3 shows so close together.  Maybe if I just did one, I may have been fine within a couple months after, but who knows.

I did find the best way to get my health on track was seeing Naturopaths.  I took various supplements, tried acupuncture, and starting feeling better overall.

2. Stress

Balancing working full time, with a child was a lot different I thought it would be.  I always imagined myself being a career mom, and having no problem working outside the home when having children. WRONG!  I’ve struggled with that since having to go back to work after my 1 year maternity leave (I know, we are lucky in Canada getting 1 year).

Somehow, I managed to workout (early in the morning), get work done, rush home, have dinner on the table, and still find time to blog.  The only saving grace was that I was in a semi-flexible position being a sales rep.  I wasn’t necessarily outside the home from 8am-5pm everyday.

The routine changed this past October 2011.  I’ve gone down to part-time, with the same vitamin company I’ve been with for 6 years, and am doing their social media, and working from home.  It couldn’t be more perfect.  Less stress, don’t have to worry about childcare, I’m still with an amazing company, and I have more time.  A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

3. Purpose

I do believe that everything happens for a reason and we’re never given anything we can’t handle. Perhaps Sienna needed more time with just the three of us? Or maybe it was a lesson to me that things can’t always happen exactly when you want them to.  Regardless,  I’m just so happy it happened for us, and all we hope for is a happy and healthy baby!

What finally did it?

There was only one thing I did different, and I’m not sure if that’s what did it or not, but about 1 month before I became pregnant, I started a new supplement called Vitex. This is the brand I took.  I’m not sure why I hadn’t taken it sooner, as I’m aware of it, and how its used for fertility.  My conscience was telling me that I needed to take it.  So I did.  Weeks later, I became pregnant.  Personally, I think it helped.  I feel that something was slightly off, and perhaps taking Vitex was the missing piece.

The timing couldn’t have been better, as we were weeks away from going back to the fertility doctor to see about doing the first step in fertility treatments.  But thankfully, it happened naturally.

The due date: September 7th.  How’s this for irony, September 7th is the 5 year anniversary of my mothers death.  In a twist of fate, I think its her way of reminding us about the circle of life. Wherever there is death, there is also life.  When things seem hopeless, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.  ts usually such a sad day, but she would be telling me right now that everyday should be filled with joy, and the “date” shouldn’t matter.  She couldn’t be more right. She would never want me to waste a day being upset or sad.

So Much More To Tell!

So, as a warning, most of my Friday posts, which are a mix between “5 Favorite” and “Family” type posts, most of the Family posts you’ll see updates on how the pregnancy is going, and progress pics.  I already have so much more to tell you all!  Its been so hard keeping it a secret for this long.  The food aversions, all-day morning sickness, how my workouts have gone to crap, finding out the sex of the baby, and the joys of a growing belly!

I hope you enjoy following along our journey!  Thanks for being here thus far.  Hope you come along for the ride!

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Kristine

I'm Kristine Fretwell, busy mom of 2 little girls, author, blogger, and former pro fitness competitor. I love almost any kind of cookie, anything coconut or pumpkin flavored, and Thai food. A perfect day for me is enjoying my family, getting to the gym, and whipping up a new healthy recipe. I've got a collection of over 300 healthy recipes, and other tidbits like fitness and health tips. My recipes have been featured on websites such as Huffington Post, Savvy Mom, Shape and Skinny Scoop.
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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tiffany-Reynolds/744953372 Tiffany Reynolds

    Hi Kristine

  • http://cleaneatingchelsey.com/ Cleaneatingchelsey

    One of my readers just sent me over here as I have been struggling with infertility and a lack of cycles. I have goosebumps reading about how your due date is on the anniversary of your mom’s passing. I am so happy for you and your family!!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Chelsey! Sorry you’re having issues…frustrating isn’t it.  Just be sure you’re getting enough healthy fats (particularly Omega 3,6,9) Taking cod liver oil helped get my cycles normal. I also found when I was ok with being not-as-strict with my diet and not-as-lean, that helped regulate my cycles too. Good luck to you!

  • Dairyfreebetty

    I would really like to hear your story,  we are having some troubles as well, and same story as you mentioned above, everything appears to be normal and ok?!   Congrats though, how exciting!!  

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

      Thanks Jessica! All I can say is try the vitex! I had no side effects or issues with it. If you have no health concerns then look into it :) Kristine Fretwell, Busy But Healthy, http://www.busybuthealthy.com

  • http://katshealthcorner.wordpress.com/ Kathleen @ KatsHealthCorner

    Congratulations! I’m so excited for you! :)

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Kat!! :)

  • Kerry

    Awe congratulations!! Definitely fate! Xx

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Kerry!  Totally, right?!

  • CheeseGirlPAC

    Yay! I bet it was so hard to wait to post the news! You have a lot of people who are super excited with you, even if all of us don’t really “know” you! Every time you shared part of your struggle in a post, there were prayers for you and your family. I am so glad that you 3 can finally celebrate after all the difficulty!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks so much!  Even though I don’t know all of you, I feel like I do too!  I really appreciate everyone’s support and congrats! Yes we’re thrilled to be able to celebrate now!

  • Terraklassen

    That is so wonderful.  I wish you a wonderful pregnancy and I know you will enjoy every minute.  This really put a smile on face when I was having a bad day.  Love babies well I guess I should since I have 3.  Congratulations to all 3 of you

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Aw thanks Terra!  Yes, being a mom is wonderful isn’t it?!  3 is tempting! lol!

  • Amy Madden

    Aww congratulations! I’m happy for you and your family :) Especially after such a long haul of heartbreak and disappointment x

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

      Thanks Amy! Yes, it still hasn’t completely sunkin’ in yet, but heading into the 2nd trimester now, its becoming more real! :)

  • Grace Bukowsky

    Congratulations! Enjoy this journey of ultimate love!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Grace! We will :)

  • Jennifer Chorazy

    Congratulations Kristine! How wonderful for you and your family!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Jennifer!! :)

  • http://theguiltlesslife.wordpress.com/ Anna @ The Guiltless Life

    Oh there’s so many things in this post that give me goosebumps! You posting that you hadn’t achieved 2011′s goal of getting pregnant on December 29 and then on January 1st getting a positive pregnancy test? Your baby being due on the anniversary of your mom’s death??? So crazy, but in a good way. I really believe your mom had a hand in this. And like you said, as tough as this was, everything must happen for a reason. I’m so happy for you and secretly chuffed that I had a little headstart in knowing about this ;) hehe. Everyone loves to feel special loool. But so glad for you really!!!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks so much Anna. I know hey, just a lot of strange coincidences!  And BTW, you are special ;)

  • Gillian Bliss

    Well done Kristine.  So glad everything worked out for you.

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks!   I’ll pass on the ‘well done’ to the hubby too. :)

  • Toni

    Congrats!  And thank you for sharing!  I had a miscarriage on Valentine’s Day this year…I was 10 weeks.  I am in the process of getting my hormones healthy…especially thyroid, along with PCOS and insulin resistance.  Your blog is such an inspiration! 

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

      Aw, I’m sorry to hear that Toni :( I hope it happens again for you soon. I do know of a lot of women with PCOS taking metformin and/or clomid that have taken Vitex with success, but of course, check with your doctor first to see. 

  • CC

    Congrats!!! You give me hope! I hope I am able to become prego after my 1st show! My cycle is gone right now as well.  I will definitly give that vitex a try!  

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       All the best to you!  Make sure you are taking a good amount of healthy fats too!  Taking cod liver oil helped me get my cycles back to normal.  1 Tbsp a day. Its nasty, but if you mix it with oj, its not too bad.  Your doctor may have some other suggestions too. Fingers crossed!

  • Suzriley1

    I am beyond excited for you!!! I have two little munchkins that I love to pieces and giving your daughter a sibling is such a blessing. I am only worried that following your pregnancy posts will make me crave another, lol! I have an almost four year old and a six year old so at 34 I am not so sure I am ready to start all over again…..as tempting as it may be. Congrats!!!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thank you!  Well if I told you how sick I was it may change your mind!  Haha. Just kidding. Even with sickness, I’m happy!  The “starting over” is a bit tough for me to think about now.  Sienna will be 4 in July and is so independent now. I had kinda wish to get all the diapers and stuff over with shortly after one another, but what do ya do. I will definitely cherish this next one as it may be our last ;)

  • Monika

    Congrats!!!! We have also been trying for almost 2 years, and found out December 31st that we will be welcoming our 2nd child into this world in August 2012.  Hope you have a wonderful pregnancy.

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Oh yay! So happy for you too! We are so close with our dates!!! Best wishes for you too! I hope you’ve been feeling better than I have! lol

  • Akaricky

    Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thank you!!!

  • Alexandra

    Amazing – congrats!  What kind of a dose were you on of the Vitex? 

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       I took 2 per day in the morning which was 160mg :)

  • Lexy

    Congratulations Kristine!! I can definetly relate to some of this :) thank you for the wonderful post .

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks! I’m glad to hear that you can relate!

  • Officediversity1

    Yah so exciting, I’m with you on this journey ! I also have a 3 1/2 year old and I’m 19 weeks right now ! Im so with you on the morning sickness which I still have and how my workouts have gone to crap but alas all that we do for the ill babes!, Congrats Kristine that’s so awesome :)

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Oh yay! That’s awesome! Glad I’m not the only one! I’m not a big fan of being pregnant, I’d rather skip that part (aside from the kicks, love those) and have the baby in my arms! I’m already thinking about my post-baby shape up plan! lol!

  • Tamott

    Awesome blog Kristine!,,

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks! It was a bit nerve wracking to post!

  • http://lilyreed.wordpress.com/ Lily

    Congratulations!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Lily!

  • Michelle

    My favorite post yet!!! Congratulations!!! 

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Awww thanks!!

  • Anonymous

    Wow! Congratulations!!!! I’m soooo so happy for you!!!

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Tiffany! Life will be getting that much busier! Ha!

  • Stephanie Wolfgang

    Um, UN-glamorous pics?! If you look like that right out of the  shower, there’s need to fear un-glamorous pregnancy pics. You look absolutely radiant.

    Congratulations! I look forward to seeing all the pregnancy updates. :)

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Haha thanks! I guess I’m just like any other preggo and doesn’t feel radiant at 9 months pregnant! lol

  • Danielle

    This made me cry happy tears! Congratulations. I too have fertility “issues”. So, I can relate on some level. Best of health to you and your family.

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Danielle!  Aw, I hope you get your ++ soon! :)

  • Meghan Murden

    Congratulations Kristine!  And thanks for sharing your story as I know there are so many women out there who can relate. For some reason, we tend to keep these struggles private but sharing them can really help someone who may be going through the same thing.   

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Thanks Meghan! I totally agree! Being public about it isn’t always so bad ;)

  • http://twitter.com/eatspinrunrpt Angela

    Aww congratulations Kristine! I’m so happy for you. I’ve only been reading for a little while but from what I know about you, I think you’re an awesome mom and I think your daughter will love having a little buddy to play with! :)

    • http://www.busybuthealthy.com Kristine Fretwell

       Aw thanks Angela! Yes, it will be nice for Sienna to have a sibling. Our poor dogs are getting a little too much attention! lol!

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